


Driven to Break

by nothingbutsmut



Series: Between 3 and 4, the World TURNS Upside Down [2]
Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Anna is too lesbian for this, Fluff, M/M, NSFW, Smut, caleb is too gay for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:06:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingbutsmut/pseuds/nothingbutsmut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fight had been small, a matter of battle not their personal life. But it grew. Two weeks. All it took was two weeks for Washington to cave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Storm Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who orphaned the first fucking chapter jfc im a mess

“You cannot allow those men to charge straight into an ambush!” Benjamin had cried in distress. 

“They will not be going in blind, they know what they’re getting into,” Washington said cooly. 

“They will have guns aimed at their heads, at least one will die in the ambush and you are willing to let someone die!” Benjamin had roared, an edge of anger inching into his voice. “What if it were me? Would you send me into that ambush?” he demanded and a shiver ran down Washington’s spine. 

“Benjamin, don’t bring us into this,” whispered Washington softly, but Benjamin wasn’t about to back down. 

“Would you? If It was me would you send me into that ambush?”

“No,” snapped Washington. “If it were up to me you would stay here, with me, always. Safe and away from danger. And if I had it my way these men would not be going into an ambush, but sacrifices must be made and I am the one making the decisions. If I saw that the mission needed your presence then I would do what is best for the army. Yes some will die and I will have to write to families apologizing, but the only option is letting the British KNOW we have the advantage and I will not risk our Ring AGAIN because you have a bleeding heart.” Benjamin straightened, face going passive. 

“Yes, sir,” he said in a tight voice. 

“Prepare the troops and then come back here,” Washington said grimly. 

“Is that an order, sir?” Benjamin said in that same tight voice. 

“Yes-the first. Go prepare the troops, and then please, Ben,” his voice softened and he leaned a bit towards his young lover, Benjamin merely glared. 

“Yes, sir,” he muttered and span on his heel, marching out, back straight. Washington frowned. Since the night of melancholia barely a week ago, they had barely had any real time to be together, exchanging kisses secretly when no one was around or gentle touches and caresses. Washington had found that Benjamin made the sweetest noises when he rubbed his neck soft sighs and little whimpers and gasps. It was too beautiful to even be erotic and Washington would often find his hand resting on Benjamin’s neck when they spoke. The boy would flush and smile a bit shyly and his hands would trail up Washington’s chest hesitantly.

The one time they had taken to bed Benjamin had still shied away from the through of sex so Washington had covered his chest in kisses and then swallowed down his cock. Benjamin had actually screamed and they had to scrambled to redress before someone came in asking if everything was alright. But even amidst the lack of physical gratification, Washington was more delighted than ever before with Benjamin. The boy somehow managed to see right through him, knowing if something was bothering. He was always happy to talk and would often help Washington sort through his own messes.

They had managed to keep a firm line between them and the War, never using their firsts name when working and never discussing their personal life or dragging it into their conversations. Like Ben had just done. Washington was getting a sick feeling in his gut that he had made a rather big mistake and Ben wasn’t going to let this go, which is why he had asked him to come back. So he waited. The sound of canvas rippling made him straighten.

“Ben-ah-” he fell silent. 

“You excellency,” bowed the major, who was very much not HIS major. 

“Where is Major Tallmadge?” Washington said calmly. 

“He just left, sir. With the troops?” Washington’s heart stopped. 

“What?”

“Yes, sir, the battalion headed East towards the encampment for patrol. He had special orders for them. Is something wrong your excellency?”

“No. Nothing. When they return have him report to me immediately,” Washington said softly. The Major left and Washington slumped into his chair. If. If they came back. 


	2. Slip Knot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did that

Benjamin was splattered with blood and limping. A twisted ankle. The blood wasn’t hi. He looked a mess as did the rest of the troop. Three dead, two wounded. It might have been worse if they hadn’t known it was coming. Benjamin had alway found there’s a certain amount of exhilaration when going into something knowing exactly what will happen. No anticipation or question, just the wait. He was experiencing such exhilaration now as he walked towards Washington’s tent. 

He would be furious. He would bark at him about insubordination and disobedience and then bark at him about knowing better and send him off to get cleaned up, ask him to come back and the pour over his wounds, whisper soft words of worry and comfort. 

_ Are you alright? Does it hurt? Hush, hush, it’s me. _

Benjamin wouldn’t allow it. He had made a stand and he wasn’t going to let this go. He pushed into the tent, back straight and Washington looked up and froze. There were other officers in the tent who gaped in shock. 

“Here to report, your excellency,” Benjamin said, head held high and eyes like stone. 

“Out. All of you, please,” Washington said softly and they all left looking startled. The tent flap fell shut and Benjamin started talking. He gave a full report tactical play by play of what happened and his summary of what this meant for the intelligence they had gathered. Washington was silent the whole time. When Benjamin finally stopped talking Washington nodded. 

“Is that the full report, major?” Washington said in an even tone. Benjamin nodded. “Then I must ask you what convinced you to lead an infantry troop into battle without orders, into a known ambush,” spat Washington and Benjamin bristled. 

“I saw that the mission needed my presence and did what was best for the army,” he mocked and Washington froze, eyes wide. “Or do you not agree, sir?” he said, the word ‘sir’ more of a harsh name than a sign of respect. 

“It was not your decision to make.”

“It was my life.”

“You are a soldier, your life belongs to this country.”

“NO. I am willing to  _ give _ my life for this country,” snapped Benjamin. “You are not. Your own life, yes, but not mine. You say you would have sent me, but we both know you wouldn’t have.”

“Benjamin-”

“Your excellency, I cannot be a soldier if you keep me here.”

“Ben-”

“And you treat me like a child-”

“I never-”

“Expecting everything-”

“I don’t-”

“But you don’t give me a chance to prove it-”

“I have always-”

“You say you trust me, then trust me-”

“I do trust-”

“Yes here where it’s safe, where you keep me away from battle-”

“I am protecting-”

“You’re protecting yourself so you don’t get hurt again-”

“Don’t bring him into this-this is a matter of insubordination, I could have you court martialed-”

“But you won’t because you can’t send me away-”

“Stop this-”

“George, I know I can do more! I always have been able too, just trust me-”

“I do trust you-”

“Prove it, let me-”

“Stop it-”

“Please, you know I can-”

“Ben, stop-”

“Trust me I can do this-

“Dammit, Benedict, I said  _ stop _ !” Roared Washington slamming his hands on the table. There was a moment of ringing silence. Washington was leaning on the table, trembling with rage and something else. Benjamin stood at the other side of the table, immobile. Neither spoke. Washington calmed down, gathering his breath and his wits. He looked up, planning on reprimanding Benjamin for insubordination-except there were tears in Benjamin’s eyes. 

“What did you call me?” the boy asked in a weak voice. Washington blinked in confusion. “You-you just called me Benedict,” he said shaking his head and backing away. Washington’s blood went cold. 

“No-Benjamin I just-”

“Why?” Ben sounded devastated. Washington tried to backtrack.

“Major your actions today have verged on mutiny. You disobeyed orders and went out on a dangerous mission without clearance. You are to be confined to the camp-”

“You’re kidding right?” Benjamin said in a thick voice. 

“No. You are to remain in camp until i see fit to again send you-”

“Fine,” spat Benjamin, wiping tears and blood off his face. “Fine, I’ll stay in the camp.”

“Good,” Washington sighed. “Now-come here.” He tried to move around the table to stand beside Ben, to take his face in his hands and fix this But Benjamin stepped back, glaring with tear filled eyes. 

“Will that be all,  _ your excellency _ ?” he said in a hoarse voice and Washington paused.

“Ben, please-”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” laughed BEnjamin darkly. “Did you want Benjamin or  _ Benedict _ ?” he snapped and Washington felt his stomach twist.

“Benjamin, please it’s not-it just slipped out-” This was  _ not _ the right thing to say. 

“Fine,” spat Benjamin. “What do you want then? I am at your service, as usual,” he said, voice vicious.

“Benjamin, stop this,” Washington said, growing angry again. What was wrong with the boy?

“Fine. Let’s stop this then,” Benjamin spat and turned on his heel, storming out. Washington gaped after him and then made to follow, stopping at the flap. He couldn’t go chasing after Benjamin in front of his troops. Dammit. He groaned and turned back to the tent, muttering darkly to himself. Benjamin was acting childish. A simple slip of the tongue-and Benjamin had been the one to bring up Benedict, anyways. Hadn’t he? Yes. Surely he had. That was why the name had spilled from Washington’s lips. It was his fault. 


	3. Trouble Brewing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone give it up for America's favorite fucking whaler

Caleb Brewster wasn’t exactly soft. A bit round, yes. Chubby, maybe. His beard was certainly soft, as were his eyes, if you asked the right lady or bloke. But he was a whaler, and a soldier, and a survivor. What he was  _ not _ , was suited to hugging his best friend as he sobbed hysterically, babbling incoherently. Caleb had been enjoying the first cool afternoon of the season in their tent, lounging and idly carving a bit of wood when benjamin had burst in, covered in blood, limping and trembling with sorrow. 

Caleb had closed the flaps and turned to ask what happened when Benjamin crumbled to the floor, shaking and sobbing. Caleb had managed to get him out of his jacket, waistcoat and boots but the man refused to cooperate, sobbing miserably and clinging to Caleb’s arm. Caleb was aware Benjamin had been out on a mission, his troop was ambushed, but they knew that going in. And his ankle was only twisted. This was very unlike Ben. 

“Come on, Tallboy, what’s eating your arse?” Caleb asked softly, gently stroking his hair. Ben eventually quieted down, sniffling and rubbing his eyes. 

“Stupid, ‘m so stupid,” mumbled and Caleb sighed. 

“No you’re not. You’re clever as anything just-what’s wrong?”

“I....I did something-and I was happy but-now I hurt and-Caleb i can’t-”

“Benjie, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong,” Caleb said and Benjamin groaned and glanced at him.

“Do-do you remember that boy back in Setauket? He had blonde hair and always braided it?” benjamin said hesitantly. Caleb fought a blush creeping up his neck. 

“Yeh, what about him.”

“You know those rumours about him,” Benjamin was clearly dancing around something. 

“Which ones? The ones about him being adopted, him being a girl, him being a cannibal-”

“Him fancying men,” Benjamin said softly. Caleb paused. In all honesty, Caleb had started most of those rumors. He was also the source of that particular rumour. The boy had cornered Caeb and begged him to stop teasing him and Caleb promised he would. In return for a kiss. The boy had obliged, eagerly even, and Caleb had stomped out the rumors for him. He wasn’t proud of his actions. But the pretty blonde boy would kiss him again sometimes when no one was looking-until he left. Some rumors are hard to kill when they’re true, after all. 

“What about it?” Caleb said casually. He had never told a soul. 

“Well...what if-what if he wasn’t-wasn’t the only person...in Setauket. WHo...likes.....men,” Benjamin said, growing pink. Caleb’s heart was hammering Oh God. OH GOD, BEN KNEW. 

“Yeah? Why would it matter? It’s just love,” Caleb said weakly and Benjamin stared at him. 

“You think so?” Benjamin said hopefully. 

“Yeh. Love is love is love, i’init it?” Caleb shrugged. He had to say something. What would he say? “How did you know?” Caleb asked softly.

“It just sort of. Happened. It was an accident. I didn’t even realize until about a week ago,” Ben said just as softly.

“And...how do you feel about it?” Caleb said.

“It’s...I used to get so confused by things but now things just make more sense,” Benjamin shrugged and Caleb nodded 

“Yeh. Well...” they were both silent. “Is...is THIS why you’re so upset?” Caleb asked softly. 

“Well. Yes. In an abstract way. I’m not upset  _ about _ it, but. Because of it something happened and then something else happened and I...”

“What?” Caleb said when Benjamin fell silent. 

“I mean. There were others before me, right? I can’t expect that to just go away but you would thin current events hold precedence over past ones,” Ben said. Caleb stared. 

“You’ve lost me,” he said bluntly and Benjamin sighed. 

“I...met someone. And we were. I’ve been seeing him for a week now and we just had a huge row and-He said someone elses name when we were arging. Not my name,” he said, obviously upset. Caleb was stuck, however on the fact that they were no longer talking about him, which could only mean that-

“You fancy men,” Caleb said and Benjamin stiffened. 

“Don’t go saying it out loud like that!” hissed the major as Caleb gaped. “That’s what I just told you, what did you think I was talking about?”

“Nothing, that. You men. That. Ehm. Who is this then that I need to beat up for hurting your feelings?” Caleb said backpedalling. Benjamin turned pink. “Come on, gimme a name. He’ll have some trouble in the camp,” caeb waved a hand. Ben shook his head, blushing harder. “Benjamin, who is it?”

“George,” whispered Benjamin softly. 

“Maddock? Oh I’ll bust his head open. I KNEW he had to be, have you seen the way he does his hair, I swear he’s gonna-”

“No-not-not him,” Benjamin shook his head and Caleb blinked in confusion. “Caleb. GEORGE,” he said, voice pitching low and face grim. 

Tick.

Tick

Tick

“Bloody fucking hell are you kidding!?” Caleb said in shock. 

“Caleb hush!” Benjamin said in a panick.

“I mean holy hell what the goddamn fuck!?” Caleb bellowed, fighting down rising laughter. 

“Please, please Caleb someone will hear!” Benjamin said. 

“Bloody-ha!” and then he was laughing, uncontrollable shaking laughter as he flopped onto the floor, rolling in the grass as Ben rubbed his face and groaned. 


	4. All Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're focused on business you lose sight of your heart.

Caleb insisted on hearing every detail, all of it, and Ben had told him grudgingly. About the night this all started, their meetings since then and the fight that day Caleb listened intently, only smiling once or twice and then nodded 

“Well, sounds like you both have some shit to deal with,” Caleb said, blunt as ever. “You need to understand that he’s trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting! I am needed where I’m needed-”

“And Arnold was needed on the front and look how that turned out,” Caleb said gently and Benjamin fell silent. “He’s afraid of losing you you daft wretch. Now calling you by that traitor’s name, that’s different. You need to let him smother you a while, but not until he apologizes for that,” Caleb said and sat back as Benjamin stared at the ground. 

“Isn’t it my fault though?”

“No,” snorted Caleb. “Why the hell is t your fault? If he’s so hung up on that arse that he’s saying his name in conversation then he has issues he needs to deal with, not you.” Caleb waved a hand. “Wait for him to apologize, if he’s half as smart in the heart as he is on the battlefield, then he’ll be at your side by sunset apologizing and dragging you back to his tent for a fuck.”

“Caleb!” Benjamin said, scandalized and blushing. 

“Alright alright,” Caleb raised his hands in surrender. “This isn’t your fault, Benjamin.”

~~

This was, of course, Benjamin’s fault. Benjamin's fault for running off. For ignoring George’s protection, for bringing up Benedict all of it. His fault. And George was miserable because of it. He worried about the boy,  _ his _ boy, but refused to go seek him out. When Benjamin saw sense, he would come back, they’d sort this out and everything would go back to normal. He let Billy help him through his day and as the sun started to set he sent him back to his tent to rest. Benjamin would be here soon. Surely. 

But he didn’t come. When he came, he usually arrived around supper, would sit with George and talk softly, maybe share the meal with him and then press close and talk in soft voices with soft lips on necks and jaws and touching-But he didn’t come and George went to bed in a foul mood. Stubborn, insubordinate, boy. He was ruffled the next day and tried his best to focus on his work. But then-

“Sir, I have a report from Culper.” He looked up and there stood Benjamin, at attention, spick and span, prim as anything. But his eyes were clouded and hazy as if he hadn’t slept and he was fighting emotions. 

“Then give it, major,” George said softly. Benjamin handed over a report, describing in detail the movements of New York troops. 

“Arnold is gathering troops for his own battalion, sir,” Benjamin said, voice thick with venom and George looked up at the boy, who now looked to be on the verge of tears. George was silent. “I’m sorry does this not please you, sir? News of darling Benedict.” he spat the words and left, shoulders trembling. George bristled and charged after him, benjamin was walking towards the women camps and George went after him. He ducked into the carriage tent that Ana Strong now occupied and would have charged after him but he heard-

“Benjamin, what in the-

“Anna help me,” benjamin was sobbing in earnest and George’s blood went old. 

“What the-hey, it’s alright come here.” He peered inside and Saw Benjamin kneeling on the ground sobbing into the shoulder of Mrs. Strong who held him gently, stroking his hair softly and hushing him. “What’s wrong? What is it, Benjamin?”

“I don’t know why-he just-he didn’t even look at me-he’s-Anna I’ve ruined everything-he doesn’t even care. Anna help me!” he sobbed incoherently and Anna only held him and gently stroked his head. George backed away and fled back to his tent. 

~~

Benjamin sobbed and sobbed and honestly, Anna didn’t have time for his nonsense, but she did what any good friend would and held him gently, softly petting his head and whispering soft condolences. He seemed to have upset someone who he cared about who now no longer cared about him. She didn’t understand half of what he was blubbering about and with Caleb off checking the drop point again, she worried if she would ever get a straight answer. 

“Benjamin, start from the beginning. WHat happened?” she said firly, taking his face in her hands and staring into his eyes. 

“Girls are so soft,” he whined and Anna nodded. Oh yes she could understand that. “I don’t like it.” Now  _ that _ she didn’t understand. “Men are so much-”

“Firmer,” she supplied and he nodded. “Fair enough. WHo is he” she said, moving on. Benjamin closed his eyes. 

“George?”

“Maddock? Yes, he seems he sort-”

“It’s the General,” he whispered and Anna froze. Oh. OH!

“Oh my God,” she whispered. Benjamin let out a shaky sob and she pulled him back into a hug. “Hush now, benjamin, I have you,” she murmured, sorting through things. Yes. That did make sense, she had met the General and seen the way he looked at Benjamin-looked at men in general. And if he picked Benjamin, and hurt him. General or not she would be having  _ words _ with his excellency. 

“What then?”

“He and I-we-we had a row. I went out into an ambush, we knew it was coming, I knew they were there so we made it-I came back and we fought and he-he called me....by the name of someone else. An old lover of his.” Anna was quiet. “He acted like he didn’t care I was upset-and then I told Caleb and he said I wasn’t to blame, but just now I went to give a report and he didn’t  _ care _ , he didn’t even act like he knew me. And I was cruel, i lashed out but he-he just let it happen-I’ve lost him. I’ve lost him,” he sobbed and went to hide in Anna’s shoulder again 

“Oh for pity’s sake,” she snapped and stood up. Benjamin was so startled he stopped crying. “Stay put,” she ordered and stormed out of the tent. She stormed along the rows and into Washington’s tent. The general looked up in surprise and before he could speak Anna jabbed him sharply in the chest with one finger. 

“Alright, you. I am addressing you now, not as the general, not as a leader, or anything. I am addressing you as the jackass who hurt my Benjamin.”

“Mrs. Strong. How dare-”

“SHut it,” she snapped and he did. “I’ not talking to you as Mrs. Strong, not as the Long Island Signal, or a lady in the camp. I’m addressing you as one of Benjamin’s best friends. You’ve hurt him. Badly. I don’t know how to the full extent, but you have NO good reason to. He is nothing if not kind. Loyal, fierce, passionate, yes. But kind more than anything. He has given you everything and then some, gone to the point of betraying his friends for you and you treat him like this. Now you listen to me, you great big mountain of an idiot. You fix this, you apologize for what you did wrong, he’ll apologize for what he did wrong and i can go back to my washing. But don’t think I’m going to forget this, George. Not for one second.” She span on her heel and marched out, shoulders back and head high, seething. Men. 

~~

In all his life, George had never been so terrified of a woman as he had been just then. Once he conquered his terror it dissolved into anger. At her impertinence and Benjamin for sending her to fight this battle-his fault? None of this was his fault. He seethed with rage and resolved then and there that he wouldn’t seek Benjamin out until he apologized for sending Anna to fight his battles for him, throwing such a fit and being so unprofessional when delivering a report. This was, entirely Benjamin’s fault.


	5. The Culper Ring in Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Anna get down to business.
> 
> aka. Mom and dad seperate their screaming children before they get into a fight

“YOU WHAT?” Caleb bellowed and Anna threw up her hands. Benjamin was asleep in their tent, twitching and whining in his sleep while Anna filled Caleb in on the day’s events. “You charged in there and just-”

“Gave him a piece of my mind, yes, what’s the matter with that?” Anna snapped. 

“He’s fuckin’ thick that’s what,” snapped Caleb. “George washington is a complete idiot when it come sto people, and he only ever sees you as an extension of Benjamin, wrong as that is. He’s gonna assume Ben  _ sent  _ you, and then think Benjamin is to blame-”

“They’re both idiots,” Anna threw her hand sup. 

“Well you know that and I know that, but they don’t. So we have to fix this up,” Caleb rubbed his face. 

“And why the hell would we do that?” Anna demanded. 

“Because we have nothing better to do,” Caleb sighed. “We have to wait for the fall. Now, what do we do?” Anna sighed and massaged her temples. 

“Alright so, the need to talk, but right now their tempers are too high. They can’t even see one another, Benjamin’s actions today prove that.”

“So what do we do?” Caleb grumbled. “Tie them up on separate ends of amp until they start begging to see one another?” Anna sighed and then stilled. 

“that...Caleb, that is exactly what we’re going to do. I’ll keep Benjamin busy, you deliver reports to Washington. Every time I was angry with you or Abe, the longer I spent not seeing you the more I wanted you around. Then we talked and it was sorted. So we wait and-”

“-And let absence make the heart grow fonder, Anna you’re a genius,” Caleb grinned and hugged her. Anna laughed and hugged him. 

“Alright just don’t tell Ben. We can’t have him running off to Washington before they’re ready. He’d fall at his feet and accept the blame all on his own just to see him again. We have to wait until Washington goes to him. Bigger they are-”

“Right you are, Anna. I’ll be seeing you, best find something to keep our boy busy,” Caleb warned and started out to his tent. Anna nodded, setting her hands on her hips. Now....something to keep Benjamin occupied.

~~

“You need me. To talk to the women. About propriety? Me?” Benjamin said incredulously.

“Discretion,” Anna corrected washing socks. “The ladies here aren't very subtle in their advances. I know their advances are welcome, but if you impressed upon them the necessity of propriety and keep up appearances so as not to win a foul image in the eyes of the enemy, I feel you would be helping,” she said and examined a sock. “I just thought our army could do with some finesse and grace considering the fiasco last spring.”

“Alright, you’ve made your point. Gather the women and I’ll speak with them,” Benjamin sighed and ran a hand down his face. 

“Yes sir,” she nodded. “Oh and Benjamin, would you mind asking all the men to set out any clothes with rips and holes? I have some spare thread and thought some repairs might be in order,” she said smoothly. 

“Ehm, yeah. I’ll do it myself,” benjamin offered and Anan smiled. 

“Thank you Benjamin, I knew I could count on you.”

~~

“No news from New York or Long Island yet, sir,” Caleb said with all the solemnity that he heard Benjamin use with the general. Washington stared at him in confusion. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. 

“Giving a report for the Ring, sir,” Caleb said primly and Washington stared. 

“Yes. but what are  _ you _ doing here?”

“Oh, you mean Major Tallmadge. He is otherwise indisposed at the moment so I just came to tell you. I mean of course if there was real news he would report but since all we’re doing is informing you of nothing I thought I would just tell you directly, sir so the major wouldn’t be disrupted. Was there any particular reason you wanted to see him?” Caleb asked innocently and Washington snapped back into place. 

“No no. Just making sure the Major is alright. Wouldn’t do to lose a link in the ring. Thank you lieutenant. On your way.” Caleb left with a small smirk. Idiots.


	6. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George Washington isn't as big of an idiot as we thought

Two weeks it went on in this way. Benjamin found he had all sort of odd jobs to do that kept him distracted and busy. He often fell asleep so exhausted he was blissfully dreamless. George o course saw none of him, receiving reports from either Caleb or another Major who could easily complete and labor he could think of for Benjamin to do. Except the one that raged in his gut. His anger had abated into longing. He caught himself staring at the entrance to the tent wishing Benjamin would walk in with a small smile. A twinge of regret and disappointment any time it was Billy, Brewster, anyone but his Benjamin. 

He kept replaying the whole mess in his head. Going back and thinking, what went wrong? Where did it go wrong? His conviction in Benjamin’s failing wavered and shattered. Of course taunting George about Benedict in ne wyork had been his fault, yes. And avoiding him now was his doing as well...But Mrs. Strong was nothing if not independent, and a close frond to Benjamin....and honestly, really honestly, George was still attached to his memory of Benedict, Still wishing it could have been different, that there was some absolution to the whole affair. 

And he had, he supposed, hurt Benjamin. Rather terribly, actually. Calling him ‘Benedict’. The argument had been so like one he’d had with benedict once upon a time and now....Now he had estranged his dearest love, sweet Benjamin. And-yes. Now that he looked back he had been rather unkind-unfeeling even. He had tried to resolve a matter of duty before he apologized for his actions and comforted his lover-actually....had he ever apologized for calling Benjamin the worng name? No. No he hadn’t.

The evening all of this occurred to him he drank an entire bottle of wine and sat moaning his misfortune. The tent flap slithered and he looked up. 

“Oh no,” he groaned and dropped his head onto the table. 

“Oh yes,” snapped Anna String walking over and pushing him upright. “You’re being ridiculous, George,” she snapped. He glred. 

“You’re being disrespectful to the General of the continental Army,” he warned and she fixed him with such a steely glare that he looked away. 

“I’ll treat you with respect when you earn it back. Look at you. You are a symbol of hope to everyone on this damn continent who gives a shit about freedom and you’re sitting here drinking yourself to madness over a boy. What are you? The girls I put up with everyday?” 

“It’s all my fault,” he moaned 

“Finally” she muttered, wiping up spilt wine and spilled food crumbs. 

“I was so focused on controlling a disobedient soldier I ignored the pain he was in. Benjamin isn’t just a Major-he will never be a soldier first, not to me. He will always be my Ben.”

“Right, now, which ben is he?” She snapped and he looked up at her. “Yeah, I’ve figured it out. It’s not that hard. You called him Benedict didn’t you?” George lowered his eyes. 

“Benedict was very dear to me for a long time. He is still....heavy in the forefront of my mind.” He was silent. 

“Stop using his name,” Anna said firmly and he stared at her in confusion. “EVeryone I know calls him ‘Arnold’ and you still use his christian name. He isn’t that to you anymore. He’s a traitor. You need to remember that and treat him as such. He didn’t just betray this revolution. He betrayed you. Remember that next time he crops up in conversation. Stop using his first name and maybe you’ll stop mixing him up with your current lover,” she said, eyes still cold and she left, taking his washing with her. He groaned and his head dropped onto the table again. 

She was right, of course. He still thought of him in that familiar sense of lovers, not as a traitor. And he was being immature, clinging to that name as though Benedict-Arnold might come back to him. Arnold had told him his real feeling and rejected him. Had made it quite clear he held no affection for Washington. He realized he had been clinging to something Benjamin had told him the night they came together. 

_ He defended you, always. When people attacked you or mocked you he always defended you. He was a friend to you, sir. It was his own ambition and greed that ruined it. He was a friend, sir, just not the one you...needed... _

Everything Benjamin did influenced him it would seem. Even his innermost thoughts. Deep down he had clung to a hope Benjamin had given him. And he had betrayed that in using a name of man he did not love in his place and the ignoring the injury in a hopeless struggle against nature itself. Benjamin would alway be rebellious, it was his nature. And Washington, it seemed, would always be an idiotic old men who is too thick to see the truth. He sighed. Well, there was nothing for it now. 

Honestly, really, he meant to grab his cloak and set off to apologize to Benjamin, beg his forgiveness and kiss him until they were both breathless. Instead he passed out from wine and exhaustion. 

~~

Benjamin hadn’t realized how much time had passed until he woke up one morning and Caleb was grinned. 

“News,” he held up a scrap of paper. Benjamin poured over the letter. It was a personal letter to him from Abe, begging for assistance. Something about his father? He frowned and stood up. 

“I have to see Washington,” he said in a steady voice. 

“What?” yelped Caleb, immediately panicking. 

“I need to go to Setauket. I need to speak with Abe,” he said and dressed, grabbing his sabre. 

“But-hey, wouldn’t it be better if you just quickly ran off and hurried back? You run the chance he says no, this way,” Caleb tried and Benjamin shook his head. 

“I have to. I owe him obedience after everything. I have to-” An explosion cut him off and him and Caleb went to the ground. 

“ATTACK! WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!” howled a voice. 

“Fucking Lobster backs!” snarled Caleb. Abe’s letter was forgotten in the mud.


	7. Torn Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's fascinating what you do when you almost lose someone.

The attack on their camp came without warning. It was a mix of mercenaries promised food and money, and British regulars. All died in the skirmish. Too many men for Washington’s comfort also passed in the battle, and dozens more were injured. They’d set off a barrel of black powder, burning and searing flesh as well as deafening some men. Blood mixed with dirt to make black mud that soldiers waded through to dispose of the bodies. Caleb, of course, was the first to start to panic. 

“Ben! BEN! Where you at Tallboy!” They had gotten separated in the skirmish, ben charging off to fortify the flank while Caleb charged in to handle the damage. He couldn’t find him. He hadn’t checked in and now-where was he? “Ben-BEN!” He couldn’t find him anywhere. He sent Anna to look with the troops while Caleb started the grisly task of sorting through the dead, searching through familiar faces for one he couldn’t bear to find. Many moaned for help and he lifted them and handed them off to be carried to medics. Then, a flash of dirty blonds, smeared with dirt-

“Oh no-no no say it’s not-Ben!”

~

Washington was pouring over reports, reading everything twice before moving on when some burst in. He looked up. 

“Brewster, if you don’t mind I’m rather busy and I don’t need to know about Culper until I’ve sorted through-”

“Benjamin,” gasped out the lieutenant, eyes wide and Washington’s gut turned to ice. He followed Brewster to the medic’s tent. Men were everywhere groaning and moaning in pain or else silent. Brewster led Washington to a cot in the corner and George almost screamed. Benjamin was covered in mud and blood, face still as he lay on the cot, the only sign of life the slight rise and fall of his chest, wrapped in bandages and stained with blood. 

“He charged right into it, sir,” Brewster said softly. “They didn’t stand a chance.” A dark gash ran along ben’s forehead, clotted and staining his hairline, the dirty blonde turning red with his blood. “He should recover, sir, but it was nasty. Thought you would want to know.”

“Thank you lieutenant,” Washington said hoarsely. “Have the Major moved to a private tent. And see if someone can’t clean him up a bit.” His voice trembled.

“I’ll see to it personally, your excellency,” Brewster said gently and put a hand on his shoulder. “You should check on some of the other soldiers,” he urged. “Increase morale, give them something to live for.” As he walked and spoke with wounded men, brave, eager, fearless just like his Benjamin, he had to wonder...if Benjamin didn’t survive this, what would his final thoughts be of George? 

Brewster was as good as his word, summoning out of nowhere a spare tent and he and Anna cleaned up poor Benjamin. Anna appointed herself his personal nurse, something she claimed she had been since they were children. She changed and washed his bandages daily, keeping him presentable, washing his face, combing out his hair and cleaning away grime and blood. 

“You know,” Caleb pointed out, sitting by and watching as Anna washing Caleb’s leg free of blood smears. “You keep up this attentiveness and old Georgy’ll get jealous.” Anna gave him a venomous look and carried on. All day she attended to the fallen major and barked and snapped at anyone who suggested she set her efforts elsewhere. Caleb redistributed Ben’s duties, some to other majors, others to cavalry soldiers. He shouldered the Intelligence duties himself and carried out everything as usual. By day things carried on. Oddities occurred in the dead of night.

A cloaked figure, in the darkest of hours, would sneak to the tent and slip inside, a single candle burning by Benjamin’s bedside. Anna would leave to go get some rest and Caleb would settle outside the tent, carving or drinking or pretending to doze. Inside, George sat beside Benjamin and held his hand gently, softly whispering words, nonsense. Virginia in the spring, Culpepper county in the winter, England in the summer. He whispered about ideas he had for Mt. Vernon, plans thoughts, hopes dreams....all whispered to the sleeping major. 

For a week, Benjamin didn’t awake, stirring only feebly swallowing what was fed to him and whimpering in pain. He awoke in the dead of night, gasping air and clawing at his bandages. 

“Burns-burns!” he gasped out and George gripped his shoulder, holding him down so he didn’t tear his stitches. 

“Benjamin, relax, you’re safe, it’s alright,” he said in his ear and Benjamin shuddered and lay trembling on the bed, looking up at him with hazy eyes. 

“G-George,” he gasped out as the General pet his hair and hushed him gently. “i’m-I’m so sorry-what I said about New York-about Arnold-”

“No no, I was being foolish, heartless, I’m sorry. Rest, my love, rest and when you’re better I’ll fix things. Rest...I love you,” he said gently and Benjamin dozed off, holding his hand tightly and twitching in pain. In a week he was sitting up and eating on his own, and in another week he was weakly walking about the camp, deploying scouts and doing paper work. Finally, he was strong enough to dress himself, march acros camp and step into Washington’s tent. 

“Your excellency,” he said and Washington looked up in surprise which dissolve din delight and relief. “May I have your time, George?” he said with a faint smile and a gentle movement of his hips as he shifted his weight. George’s book closed with a snap. 


	8. Make Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT HAS ARRIVED

“Benjamin.” His name was the first word to leave George’s lips. They hadn’t really spoken since Ben woke up, weeks ago. For the sake of keeping their relationship hidden, they had keepen all interaction down but now with Ben alive and well and standing there looking gorgeous in candle light? His name was the only things George could process. Benjamin, for his part, blushed and smiled shyly at him. He unbuckled his sabre belt and walked hesitantly towards George, touching his wrist gently. George turned his hand and wound their fingers together, making Benjamin flush a bit. 

“Hello,” Benjamin whispered softly and George’s brain ground into action. He bent down and kissed Benjamin gently on the lips, pulling him close and settling his other hand on Benjamin’s hip. 

“Hello my love,” George whispered and Benjamin shivered. 

“Hello, George. Can we-we should talk,” he murmured and George nodded. He stepped away and moved to the flap, dismissing his guards and tying the flap shut. He turned back to Benjamin who had discarded his coat and was undoing his waist coat. 

“What-ah-what do you want to talk about?” George said. He knew, of course he knew, but he wanted Benjamin to speak, wanted to listen. Benjamin sighed and shifted a bit. 

“Well...Ahm...I’m sorry. I was rude. I taunted you during an official meeting and i-I was rude and insubordinate and I....I am sorry,” he said, not looking at George. The General nodded and moved closer. 

“I forgive you for the taunt, as you put it, but it was....not done unduly.” Benjamin looked up at him. “I was insensitive and....I was under the delusion that we could ever have a relationship beyond how much I...How much I love you.” Benjamin looked away again, cheeks pink. “I tried to separate our work from our life and We can’t do that, not completely. There will always be overlap and I ignored that. I hurt you by ignoring your feelings and I am sorry. I am so sorry,” he said in a rush and Benjamin nodded, still not looking at him. 

“I...I forgive you. I do,” he murmured. “We were both acting as though we could draw a line between our hearts and this war, like we could somehow separate our worry for one another as....as lovers from our relationship as General and Major. I shouldn’t have made it personal, but...you were trying to protect me in a way you wouldn’t protect other majors and I felt that was unjust and if there was going to be that separation then it should always be there, not just when I wouldn’t get hurt.” he sighed and rubbed his face. 

“I know,” George whispered. 

“The fact of the matter is, George you can’t always protect me,” Benjamin said looking at him with tender eyes. “I know you want to, and I will let you for the most part, but not if it puts other people’s lives on the line. I cannot let you cloister me in here with you when I should be elsewhere. Most of my work lets me be here at your side, all I want is to do my duty properly so when this is done I can come back to you.” He stepped forward and touched George’s cheek gently. 

George’s eyes slipped shut at the touch as he trembled and fought through his own thoughts. Safe? Safe like the skirmish that almost claimed Ben’s life? Safe like riding into an ambush with his head held high and hurting himself? Safe like sneaking off to Long Island for information they so sorely needed? How was he to be safe-how was he to be a soldier or a spy if George kept him safe? 

“I’m sorry,” George murmured faintly. “I can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you. I think I might die without you, if you died in this war and I could have stopped it. I’ve lost so many dear friends, I couldn’t lose you, my love.” he voice shook and Benjamin gently hushed him and kissed the corner of his mouth. 

“You won’t. You won’t. We’ll both be careful and I will always come back to you. Always yours,” Benjamin murmured gently and George’s hand slid into his hair, pulling him in closer and kissing him slowly, memorizing the feeling of his lips. So long since they kissed, months now was it? He moaned against the boy’s lips and his other hand slid down his side. 

“Are-are we done talking?” George said in a hoarse voice. 

“Yes-for now yes, everything else can wait for morning,” Benjamin whispered softly and George felt a shiver run down his spine. 

“Morning?” he said, an edge of hope in his voice as his hand inched down Ben’s side to his ass, hesitantly touching him. Ben made a soft noise, somewhere between a purr and a moan and leaned into the touch. 

“Yes. I want-I want to give you-I want us to-”

“Yes-please,” George cut in, kissing him hungrily as Ben’s arms wound around his neck. George pulled him closer as Ben pressed flush against him. Benjamin’s hips rocked against George’s and the General moaned softly. He scooped up the boy and carried him to the bed, setting him down and kneeling in front of him, fingers carefully undoing his trousers as Benjamin pulled off his shirt. 

“George? I don’t know how to-”

“I know, I’ll take care of everything.” George promised, leaning up and kissing him as they work off Benjamin’s trousers. Benjamin squirmed a bit and tugged at George’s sleeve. “Patience.” George chastised with a smile as he disrobed and joined Ben on the bed, pulling him close and pressing kisses to his cheek. Benjamin was taking in deep breathes, trying to calm down and relax. George’s hands traced endlessly over his skin, memorizing lines and curves and muscles and scars as he sucked a hickey into the boy’s neck. Ben whined and arched under him, eyes shut and mouth parted slightly. 

“Nah-George I can’t-Please?” he said, not quite sure what he was asking for or protesting. George seemed to know. Because he turned them so Benjamin was laying on his back withe George kneeling between his legs. COlor rose in Ben’s cheeks and George pushed apart his legs and his eyes roved over his cock, hard between his thighs. “George I don’t know about this.” he blurted and the older froze, eyes going up to Ben’s face. 

“How do you mean?” he asked, hand resting lightly on Ben’s knee, thumb tracing soothing circles in his leg. 

“I just-I’m...” Benjamin shivered a bit. “I’m scared.” he said somewhere above a whisper. George’s face softened and he leaned up, gently kissing Benjamin’s lips. The boy wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close, eagerly kissing him. George’s hand moved to his waist, gently caressing his sides and dragging his nails over the soft of his waist. Ben made a whining noise and shivered, arching up slightly to press their chests together. 

“You don’t have to be afraid. I’m going to take care of you. Alright?” George said, looking at Ben carefully. He was waiting. Waiting one last time for Ben to say yes and agree to this. Benjamin took in a steady breath and nodded once. 

“Alright.” George kissed him again, this time deeper, rougher, tongue curling into his mouth intimately and when he pulled back he moved to stand up. “Where are you going?” Benjamin yelped, suddenly confused. George chuckled and bent, kissing his cheek. 

“Just a moment.” he said calmly. Ben watched him move as he went to a dresser and sorted through the drawers. He was tall, and built, not in an intensely layered and packed way but in a strong old way that promised strength, but gentleness. Scars and healed over bullet holes dotted his side and his cock hung heavy between his legs. Benjamin laid back down and stared at the ceiling, cheeks burning. He hadn’t meant to stare....not really...

“Ben.” George rumbled as he returned to him, kneeling on the bed. He pushed apart Benjamin’s legs and gently kissed him. Ben closed his eyes and kissed back, then George moved, kissing lower-on his neck, down his chest, over his heart, his stomach and hips, kissing the skin over his hip bone and sucking gently. Ben keened and arched into his mouth, one hand reaching for George, tangling their fingers together. George ran his thumb over Ben’s knuckles as he kissed lower over his thighs and suddenly his mouth was on Benjamin’s cock and the boy whimpered and pressed his other hand over his mouth. 

George went slow, kissing up underside of Benjamin’s cock, getting him hard as the boy shivered and whined, hips bucking up slightly from time to time. George’s other hand slipped lower, gently tracing over his balls and lower, gingerly stroking the span of skin before Benjamin’s hole. Ben keened and arched up, cock jerking and George stopped, dropping a kiss to his belly lightly. Benjamin looked down at him, heaving with breath and color high in his cheeks. 

“What-what are you-” he took in a deep breathe and licked his lips. “George please I want you to-OH!” his eyes rolled back and he let out a moan as George pressed a finger into his ass, slick with something from a jar-probably what he got earlier-but it was so different. Benjamin gasped and arched, George’s finger pressing deeper and gently pushing in and out, fucking Benjamin gently. Benjamin whined and shuddered as his body grew accustomed to the sensation. He moaned slightly again and squeezed George’s hand. 

“Are you alright?” he asked gently, kissing along Benjamin’s waist gently. Benjamin nodded and rocked down slightly, letting out a faint sound as he took George’s finger deeper. The General chuckled and pulled away his hand. Benjamin grimaced and was about to speak when George pushed back in, this time with two fingers, drawing out a whine from Benjamin as he bucked and arched. 

“Geh-fuck-George-”

“Language, Benjamin. Gentlemen don’t curse.” George said with a faint smile and Benjamin whined, rocking down against George’s fingers, mouth parted slightly. 

“This is hardly something gentlemen do, your excellency.” quipped Benjamin and The General grinned. He curled his fingers and Benjamin let out a keening noise. He bit his knuckles to silence himself, whimpering. His hips jerked and his cock leaked precum over his belly. He whimpered as the foreign sensation sent sparks down his spine.”George.” he whimpered weakly and the man smiled and squeezed his hand slightly. 

“Just relax.” he soothed. “You must be loose or it will hurt.” Benjamin nodded and tried to breathe, whining as George spread and curled his fingers. Ben’s cock twitched and his hips bucked, rocking down onto George’s hand. The elder kissed over his thighs and watched him carefully. Finally Benjamin gave a pathetic noise. 

“Please I can’t anymore-George!” he sobbed out and George pulled away his hand, leaning up and kissing Benjamin gently. Ben kissed back, hips jerking slightly. “Please-I want you.” he murmured and George nodded, blushing slightly. He pulled back, slicking his cock with the oil from the jar and pressed his head to Benjamin’s entrance. Ben whined and squeezed his eyes shut, going all tense and George paused. He gently squeezed Ben’s hand and kissed his cheek lightly. 

“Remember. You can always tell me to stop.” George soothed. Benjamin nodded and kissed him gently. 

“I want this. I mean it I-”

“You can want it and still need me to stop.” George said firmly and Benjamin nodded. George pushed in and Benjamin’s eyes fluttered shut, mouth parted.

“Oh.” he breathed out and shuddered. George groaned faintly, pushing in slowly as Benjamin jerked and clutched at him, arms around his neck and one hand tight in George’s hair. George moved slow, gently easing deeper into Benjamin, and he was propping himself up so he didn’t crush Benjamin. Benjamin whined and hid his face in George’s neck, until George bottomed out, his cock buried inside of Benjamin. Ben whined and shuddered, the alien sensation making his mind hazy. Then George started moving and Benjamin stopped thinking altogether. 

George was slow as he fucked into Benjamin, making the boy whine and jerk against him. He made soft whining sounds and arched up, shuddering and gripping George’s hair roughly. George endured his tugging and shivering calmly, nuzzling at his jaw and pressing kisses to his jaw cheek and lips. Benjamin started to move with him, rocking down onto him and panting his name like a prayer. George never pushed, never sped up, moving steady with his boy beneath him. His end was growing near as he breathed against Benjamin’s neck when Benjamin let out a sorry sound and gave a shudder. 

George shifted and set their foreheads together. Benjamin’s eyes were hazy and he was flushed pink, hair messy and bangs slicked to his brow. He was panting and whimpering, tears on his lashes and clearly far gone. 

“What do you need?” George said softly. Benjamin swallowed and whined. “Benjamin?” george pressed gently and Benjamin’s hand feebly took George’s and le dit to Benjamin’s cock. “Ah. You wish to come then, for me?” George purred and Benjamin closed his eyes whining and nodding. “My sweet darling. I love you.” george murmured and kissed Benjamin slowly as he stroked him in time with his movements. Benjamin kissed back, hungry and eager as His hips bucked. His cry was muffled by the kiss when he came messily, tightening around George so he groaned and came with a shudder. 

They lay like that, curled close and breathing in one another’s breathe. Benjamin came out of it first, sniffing faintly and blinking tears out of his eyes. George looked peaceful, face relaxed and he was breathing deep and slow. He could have been asleep, but he was still supporting himself over Benjamin. 

“George.” Benjamin said hoarsely and the elder’s eyes snapped open. “Can we-It’s-starting to hurt.” he said, voice weak. George nodded, kissed his cheek and slowly pulled out. Benjamin gave a soft cry and arched, relaxing back down. George dragged a handkerchief from his clothes and wiped Benjamin clean, moving him gently. Benjamin jerked and grimaced at the sensation, but stayed still, breathing deep. George settled down next to him, pulling up the blankets and drawing the curtains round the bed. He pulled benjamin flush to him and kissed him again. 

“Did...I do that right?” Benjamin asked softly. George stilled and smiled faintly. 

“Benjamin, you were perfect.” George assured him and kissed him gently. Benjamin relaxed and pressed close. George held him and pet his hair gently. 

“George?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll always be yours. I just...want you to know that.” he mumbled and hid against George. The general was very still and then pulled him close hugging the boy. 

“I know. And I will cherish you always, Benjamin.”


	9. Epilouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one more word

Benjamin awoke alone. He grimaced and sat up. He could hear the sound of quill on paper outside the drawn curtains. He sat up and winced, grimacing and clenching his jaw. It hurt, now. He shifted and hesitantly peeked from between the curtains. George was sitting at his desk writing quickly on a piece of stationary. Benjamin wrapped the blanket around himself and stepped out. George looked up and smiled, holding out a hand and Benjamin hurried to his side, settling in his lap and exchanging a kiss quickly. 

“You’re up early. The sun hasn’t risen yet.” Benjamin said softly. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” George murmured brushing back Benjamin’s hair. 

“I think you not being there woke me more than your correspondences.” benjamin assured him. George smiled and cupped his cheek. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” George whispered. 

“Me too.” Benjamin murmured. “Let’s try not to have that happen again.” he said and George nodded quickly and they kissed again. “I’m getting dressed.” benjamin said and rose up. 

“If you must.” George said and Benjamin shot him a look. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE IS COMING I SWEAR KEEP AN EYE ON THE HORIZON MY LITTLE BEASTIES


End file.
